I can't believe my computer remembered this password, ah the greatest that is technology. I feel like just writing and I have the time because my daughter is taking her nap. Being a mother is basically what I thought it would be. Having to care for and watch over a little piece of you is a wonderful feeling. There are time were I feel completely overwhelmed and need to step away and take a deep breath, but I never blame her.
My own personal little family is great, me, Arthur, and our daughter are happy in our own world. It's not really far enough from L.A. though. I use to think L.A. was a place I wanted to stay and live, but when I realized that the city/county is just on huge pile of shit that brings drama, I wanted to be far away from it. North County is hardly far but we didn't want to isolate Luna from her family. I still maintain the importance of family even though there are very few in mine I actually want to see. My mother being one of them. I finally "talk" to her about her negativity toward me and of course she said I was crazy. I'm always the crazy one and trust me I have tried very had to not be crazy. Talking to yourself is not a good start but sometimes you need to tell yourself off or to simply shut up. My relationship with my mother will never be the Gilmore Girls, but I learned to except that just like I learn to except that my father is a jerk that wants nothing to do with is children or grandchildren. The only I can do is make damn sure I don't do anything like that to my daughter, and make sure she knows that not matter what she can always come and talk to me. Even is it's to tell me off. The one thing I've always been good at is listening.
I've been wondering if I should try and get into contact with friends from the past, like Peter, Zachary, Emily, Hazel, but the scaredy cat I am can't stand the thought of them just ignoring me, which I'm sure Zachary might, or not remembering who I am. I wasn't really memorable. The only one that I have a shot at getting an answer from is Peter and that only because it's only been 2 years since I last talked to him. It's always been hard for me to make friends and keep friends. I'm it's because of my riveting personality. To be honest, my longest friend just so happens to be my loving husband. It sounds weak to say that my best friend is my husband but Arthur has always been my best friend even when we weren't together. He was and is always someone I could talk to. I do most of the listening mostly because I enjoy hearing him talk.
I wonder how Zachary, Peter, and Emily are doing? Maybe I might ask them and see what happens. To being brave and sucking it up!